Hey, my good friend Mike Sterling over at Progressive Ruin turned 40 today! Man, that is OLD.

If you can't take Mike out for a candlelit dinner for two like me, stop by his blog and wish the old man a happy birthday. I suggest typing a message in ALL CAPS so Mike can read it a little easier. They say that eyesight is the second thing to go when you grow old, right after rectal elasticity.

I first met Mike Sterling at TRUTHCon 1997, where he was manning a booth and answering questions about the link between the Chupacabra, the aliens known as "The Greys," and the Trilateral Commission. Mike would accost anybody who even glanced at his booth and regale them with a twenty minute overview speech that explained the secret cryptid/alien link behind the major events of the 20th century. It was pretty cosmic stuff, but Mike is a huge believer in all that conspiracy stuff and ghosts and UFOs and all that - as a matter of fact, if you email him directly, he's always happy to pontificate on subjects ranging from CIA remote viewing to the Mothman to celebrity psychics like his idol and "life coach," Gary Spivey.

Yes, Mike is a free spirit and a free thinker, and I think the world is a little better place with somebody who just rejects skepticism outright and wants to believe.


Here are ten things you might not know about my friend Mike Sterling:

1. He made a Swamp Thing blow up doll using a sex doll, papier mache, kudzu vine, and a viscous solution of egg whites and soy sauce. It really felt and smelled like the real thing.
2. Mike Sterling ends all phone calls and emails with: "STERLING OUT!"
3. One of his prized possessions is a white afro-helmet given to him by psychic Gary Spivey (pictured above).
4. If you rearrange the letters in Mike Sterling's name, ignore several letters, and then add a few letters, it spells: "I LOVE HITLER."
5. Mike frequently thanks heaven for little girls, but not in a creepy way.
6. One of Mike's legs is 1.3 inches shorter than the other. If you ask him about it he may become incredibly angry and violent, so shhh.
7. Mike really does live his life a quarter mile at a time.
8. In the rear of the Orange County comic shop Mike runs there is a special room that only a chosen few are allowed access to. This is the Liefield Room.
9. Mike has letters tattooed on each knuckle, so when he makes fists with his hands it reads: "YOUR DOOM." Mike is hardcore like that.
10. Mike lives in a black van and is coming to a school zone near you!

Happy birthday, Mike! Please forgive me for spreading horrible, horrible lies about you.

This entry was posted by David Campbell, on Friday, March 13, 2009. You can leave your response.