The Best and Lamest Futuristic Police Vehicles
Being a cop in the future would be bad-ass.
You get to wear riot gear, fly around on jet packs, and whack civilians with sick sticks or stun guns. Future cops also get the coolest rides - at least in science fiction movies. Here are the most kick ass and suck ass futuristic police vehicles ever, according to Me.*
Police Spinner - Blade Runner
Designed by the legendary Syd Mead, the police spinner is a ground/air patrol car loaded with 300 lbs of red and blue beacon lights. Judging from the picture above, the spinner is powered by steam vents and suspension wires.
Who drives it: Edward James Olmos, puta.
Why it is cool: Look at it. It's fucking cool, Syd Mead designed it. The spinner was created using practical effects and a full scale prop, which automatically makes it cooler than any digitally created futuristic police vehicle.
Why it sucks: The spinner has scissor doors that open vertically (see above) which just lets in all that futuristic acid rain.
The Pursuit Special - Mad Max and Road Warrior
This tricked out, all black 1974 Ford Falcon XB coupe gets jacked by Max in Mad Max for his mission of vengeance, and he just keeps the thing during the subsequent biker apocalypse in the Road Warrior. With a 351 V8 engine, a gnarly blower, and double spoilers, it is pretty much one giant surrogate penis. Often incorrectly identified as a "V8 Interceptor" due to a line of dialogue spoken by a mechanic in Road Warrior, it is actually identified as a Pursuit Special in Mad Max, so that's what I'm calling it and oh God I have no life.
Who drives it: Max
Why it is cool: I just explained why it's cool. The Pursuit Special is the automotive wet dream of an entire generation of Aussie gearheads.
Why it sucks: N/A
MFP Interceptor - Mad Max
Some time in the not to distant future the Australian federal highway police force known as the Main Force Patrol will cruise the badlands in bright yellow 1974 Ford Falcons. It will happen, mark my words. In 1979's Mad Max, our hero Max Rockatansky drive the bad ass V8 Interceptor - at least until he graduates to the Pursuit Special.
Who drives it: Officer Max Rockatansky. His name is on the side of his Interceptor, as well as his nickname: "The Dark One."
Why it is cool: For starters, the color scheme is awesome. Lettering on the back of each patrol car reads either PURSUIT or, in Max's case, INTERCEPTOR. Plus, the car appears in Mad Max, the mother of all dystopian futuristic highway patrol revenge flicks.
Why it sucks: This is what I'm telling you, it doesn't suck. It's not quite as cool as the Pursuit Special, though, is it?
Hill Valley Police Squad Car - Back to the Future II
In the year 2015, female police officers will patrol the town of Hill Valley in hover-equipped squad cars and futuristic motorcycles. The cops in Back to the Future II don't seem to be terribly effective, but they have sweet rides.
Who drives it: Unit N11-11 (below)
Why it is cool: The sloping, aerodynamic pod shape of the Hill Valley PD squad cars are the main selling point. They look like melted jelly beans.
Why it sucks: They don't do anything particularly spectacular, and the special effect sequence (pictured) of the hovering squad car looks dated. I'm nitpicking.
Lawmaster motorcycle - Judge Dredd
The Lawmaster is the vehicle of choice for MegaCity One's fascist Judges, who enforce strict bans on things like sugar and coffee. Normal motorcycles aren't cool enough for Judges - they prefer cruising around in these tricked out, unwieldy Lawmaster monstrosities. Why? Because they look bad ass.
Who drives it: Judges
Why it is cool: Look at that thing, it's ridiculous. The design is so over the top that you have to love it. It's like a jumbo action figure accessory.
Why it sucks: I think it needs much fatter tires in order to look truly cool.
San Angeles Police Patrol Car - Demolition Man
The pathetically ineffectual pacifistic cops of the futuristic megalopolis of San Angeles roll around in cool carbon-fiber police cars looking for kittens to rescue or trash to pick up. That's how they roll in the Sylvester Stallone film Demolition Man, which features GM Ultralite low emission concept cars. Maybe GM should have been making these things instead of Hummers, n'est-ce pas?
Who drives it: Sandra Bullock
Why it is cool: As Stallone demonstrates, if you crash one of these babies, the inside is instantly filled with expanding crash foam that absorbs the impact. That's a nice feature, unless you have issues with being entombed in asphyxiating foam.
Why it sucks: See "who drives it."
NYPD Cruiser - The Fifth Element
The production design in Luc Besson's could-have-been-awesome The Fifth Element is clearly the flim's greatest redeeming feature - that and Gary Oldman's crazy haircut. One of the great things about Fifth Element is the use of models and practical special effects for their hover cars - as a result, they look more solid and real than CG effects.
Who drives it: Cops in ridiculously bulky outfits.
Why it is cool: I like the retro-futuristic vibe these vehicles have. If Dick Tracy was a 23rd century cop he would totally drive one of these babies. They come equipped with neat communications gear, a handy sliding side door and a winch/pulley system for mid-air prisoner transfer.
Why it sucks: They look a little bloated, like pregnant Spinners, but I think that was the effect the filmmakers were going for.
Iowa State Patrol hovercycle - Star Trek
A couple things you need to know about Future Iowa: a) it's a desert wasteland, b) it has deep canyons/quarries, and c) it's patrolled by motorcycle cops.
Who drives it: Scary cyborg looking cops on hoverbikes who like the Beastie Boys.
Why it is cool: While the scene in question may be more than a little goofy, the hoverbike design is cool as hell.
Why it sucks: Come on, a 23rd Century rocket bike can't catch a kid in an antique car? Laaame.
PreCrime Hovership - Minority Report
This one kind of blurs the line between police car, helicopter, and hair dryer. Regardless, the hover units in Minority Report do qualify as futuristic police vehicles, so I'll throw them in. It doesn't mean I have to like it.
Who drives it: Dept. of PreCrime officers. You thought I was going to make a Scientology joke, didn't you? Too easy.
Why it is cool: I don't know, they're kind of neat looking I guess. They do look a little familiar...
Why it sucks: Let's just say Boba Fett is suing for copyright infringement.
Idiot Cop Car - Idiocracy
I'll be honest, I haven't actually seen Idiocracy but I'm including this futuristic police vehicle because I'm in love with the logo.
Who drives it: Idiots.
Why it is cool: Look at that logo! That is straight pimpin'.
Why it sucks: Does it suck? The blinged out logo alone redeems the vehicle.
Riot Control Garbage Truck - Soylent Green
In the future, you'll be so goddamn hungry you won't even ASK where your food comes from.
Who drives it: 14th Precinct Riot Control cops / food industry workers.
Why it is cool: It scoops up hippies, dumps them in the back, and then makes food out of them. That's hot.
Why it sucks: There are starving kids in China! Stop criticizing the Riot Control Garbage Trucks and eat your soylent green, youngster!
Sandman Ground Car - Logan's Run TV series
Sure, the 1976 film Logan's Run was awesome, but do you remember the spin-off TV series? They ran with the original concept but surgically removed everything about the original movie that made it unique and cost money. Instead of taking place in a bizarre future city with expensive sets, the Logan's Run TV show took place almost entirely in a park in Southern California. Cool car, though.
Who drives it: The ground car was driven by Sandmen, fascist cops who ensure population control by making sure that everyone who reaches the age of 30 takes a once-in-a-lifetime spin on the lethal Carousel.
Why it is cool: The Ground Car has a charming antiquated futuristic design and lots of stickers! The gull wing doors scream THIS CAR IS TOTALLY FROM THE FUTURE.
Why it sucks: It's called a "Ground Car," which seems redundant. I bet the Sandmen also have Water Boats and Sky Airplanes.
Detroit Police Patrol Cars - Robocop
Rumour has it that Robocop was supposed to drive his own custom police car in the 1987 film Robocop, but director Paul Verhoeven thought the Robocar looked stupid. As a result, our cyborg hero and the Detroit Police drive black 1985 Ford Taurus in the film. Man, the Robocar must have been pretty shitty if this was a better choice.
Who drives it: The police of the future!
Why it is cool: Umm... I'm drawing a blank here.
Why it sucks: It's a Ford Taurus. 'Nuff said.
Grammaton Cleric Pimpmobile - Equilibrium
I'm a big fan of Kurt Wimmer's Equilibrium, flaws and all. It's got sword fights, gun kata, and a brooding ultra-serious Christian Bale (as opposed to campy, flamboyant Christian Bale). Set in the city-state of Libria where emotions are illegal, Equilibrium focuses on the anti-emo cops know as Grammaton Clerics who roll around in white Cadillacs - the car of the future!
Who drives it: Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, Sean Bean.
Why it is cool: It's all white? And therefore looks futuristic?
Why it sucks: Man, it's like they're not even trying, isn't it? Look at those guys (above). They're embarrassed to be seen riding in the thing. Clearly the producers just didn't have the money to create their own custom cars, so they worked with what they had - and what they had were white Caddies, which are one step up from the pink Cadillacs that Mary Kay cosmetic salespeople drive. Sad.
*I didn't include Will Smith's Space Audi from I, Robot because although he is a police detective, he's driving a civilian car, not a marked police car. Same goes for the cool Lexus concept car Tom Cruise drives in Minority Report - not a cop car. Mick Jagger's armored personnel carrier in Freejack doesn't make the list because it's more of a paramilitary vehicle and it is driven by Mick Jagger.
You get to wear riot gear, fly around on jet packs, and whack civilians with sick sticks or stun guns. Future cops also get the coolest rides - at least in science fiction movies. Here are the most kick ass and suck ass futuristic police vehicles ever, according to Me.*
Police Spinner - Blade Runner
Designed by the legendary Syd Mead, the police spinner is a ground/air patrol car loaded with 300 lbs of red and blue beacon lights. Judging from the picture above, the spinner is powered by steam vents and suspension wires.
Who drives it: Edward James Olmos, puta.
Why it is cool: Look at it. It's fucking cool, Syd Mead designed it. The spinner was created using practical effects and a full scale prop, which automatically makes it cooler than any digitally created futuristic police vehicle.
Why it sucks: The spinner has scissor doors that open vertically (see above) which just lets in all that futuristic acid rain.
The Pursuit Special - Mad Max and Road Warrior
This tricked out, all black 1974 Ford Falcon XB coupe gets jacked by Max in Mad Max for his mission of vengeance, and he just keeps the thing during the subsequent biker apocalypse in the Road Warrior. With a 351 V8 engine, a gnarly blower, and double spoilers, it is pretty much one giant surrogate penis. Often incorrectly identified as a "V8 Interceptor" due to a line of dialogue spoken by a mechanic in Road Warrior, it is actually identified as a Pursuit Special in Mad Max, so that's what I'm calling it and oh God I have no life.
Who drives it: Max
Why it is cool: I just explained why it's cool. The Pursuit Special is the automotive wet dream of an entire generation of Aussie gearheads.
Why it sucks: N/A
MFP Interceptor - Mad Max
Some time in the not to distant future the Australian federal highway police force known as the Main Force Patrol will cruise the badlands in bright yellow 1974 Ford Falcons. It will happen, mark my words. In 1979's Mad Max, our hero Max Rockatansky drive the bad ass V8 Interceptor - at least until he graduates to the Pursuit Special.
Who drives it: Officer Max Rockatansky. His name is on the side of his Interceptor, as well as his nickname: "The Dark One."
Why it is cool: For starters, the color scheme is awesome. Lettering on the back of each patrol car reads either PURSUIT or, in Max's case, INTERCEPTOR. Plus, the car appears in Mad Max, the mother of all dystopian futuristic highway patrol revenge flicks.
Why it sucks: This is what I'm telling you, it doesn't suck. It's not quite as cool as the Pursuit Special, though, is it?
Hill Valley Police Squad Car - Back to the Future II
In the year 2015, female police officers will patrol the town of Hill Valley in hover-equipped squad cars and futuristic motorcycles. The cops in Back to the Future II don't seem to be terribly effective, but they have sweet rides.
Who drives it: Unit N11-11 (below)
Why it is cool: The sloping, aerodynamic pod shape of the Hill Valley PD squad cars are the main selling point. They look like melted jelly beans.
Why it sucks: They don't do anything particularly spectacular, and the special effect sequence (pictured) of the hovering squad car looks dated. I'm nitpicking.
Lawmaster motorcycle - Judge Dredd
The Lawmaster is the vehicle of choice for MegaCity One's fascist Judges, who enforce strict bans on things like sugar and coffee. Normal motorcycles aren't cool enough for Judges - they prefer cruising around in these tricked out, unwieldy Lawmaster monstrosities. Why? Because they look bad ass.
Who drives it: Judges
Why it is cool: Look at that thing, it's ridiculous. The design is so over the top that you have to love it. It's like a jumbo action figure accessory.
Why it sucks: I think it needs much fatter tires in order to look truly cool.
San Angeles Police Patrol Car - Demolition Man
The pathetically ineffectual pacifistic cops of the futuristic megalopolis of San Angeles roll around in cool carbon-fiber police cars looking for kittens to rescue or trash to pick up. That's how they roll in the Sylvester Stallone film Demolition Man, which features GM Ultralite low emission concept cars. Maybe GM should have been making these things instead of Hummers, n'est-ce pas?
Who drives it: Sandra Bullock
Why it is cool: As Stallone demonstrates, if you crash one of these babies, the inside is instantly filled with expanding crash foam that absorbs the impact. That's a nice feature, unless you have issues with being entombed in asphyxiating foam.
Why it sucks: See "who drives it."
NYPD Cruiser - The Fifth Element
The production design in Luc Besson's could-have-been-awesome The Fifth Element is clearly the flim's greatest redeeming feature - that and Gary Oldman's crazy haircut. One of the great things about Fifth Element is the use of models and practical special effects for their hover cars - as a result, they look more solid and real than CG effects.
Who drives it: Cops in ridiculously bulky outfits.
Why it is cool: I like the retro-futuristic vibe these vehicles have. If Dick Tracy was a 23rd century cop he would totally drive one of these babies. They come equipped with neat communications gear, a handy sliding side door and a winch/pulley system for mid-air prisoner transfer.
Why it sucks: They look a little bloated, like pregnant Spinners, but I think that was the effect the filmmakers were going for.
Iowa State Patrol hovercycle - Star Trek
A couple things you need to know about Future Iowa: a) it's a desert wasteland, b) it has deep canyons/quarries, and c) it's patrolled by motorcycle cops.
Who drives it: Scary cyborg looking cops on hoverbikes who like the Beastie Boys.
Why it is cool: While the scene in question may be more than a little goofy, the hoverbike design is cool as hell.
Why it sucks: Come on, a 23rd Century rocket bike can't catch a kid in an antique car? Laaame.
PreCrime Hovership - Minority Report
This one kind of blurs the line between police car, helicopter, and hair dryer. Regardless, the hover units in Minority Report do qualify as futuristic police vehicles, so I'll throw them in. It doesn't mean I have to like it.
Who drives it: Dept. of PreCrime officers. You thought I was going to make a Scientology joke, didn't you? Too easy.
Why it is cool: I don't know, they're kind of neat looking I guess. They do look a little familiar...
Why it sucks: Let's just say Boba Fett is suing for copyright infringement.
Idiot Cop Car - Idiocracy
I'll be honest, I haven't actually seen Idiocracy but I'm including this futuristic police vehicle because I'm in love with the logo.
Who drives it: Idiots.
Why it is cool: Look at that logo! That is straight pimpin'.
Why it sucks: Does it suck? The blinged out logo alone redeems the vehicle.
Riot Control Garbage Truck - Soylent Green
In the future, you'll be so goddamn hungry you won't even ASK where your food comes from.
Who drives it: 14th Precinct Riot Control cops / food industry workers.
Why it is cool: It scoops up hippies, dumps them in the back, and then makes food out of them. That's hot.
Why it sucks: There are starving kids in China! Stop criticizing the Riot Control Garbage Trucks and eat your soylent green, youngster!
Sandman Ground Car - Logan's Run TV series
Sure, the 1976 film Logan's Run was awesome, but do you remember the spin-off TV series? They ran with the original concept but surgically removed everything about the original movie that made it unique and cost money. Instead of taking place in a bizarre future city with expensive sets, the Logan's Run TV show took place almost entirely in a park in Southern California. Cool car, though.
Who drives it: The ground car was driven by Sandmen, fascist cops who ensure population control by making sure that everyone who reaches the age of 30 takes a once-in-a-lifetime spin on the lethal Carousel.
Why it is cool: The Ground Car has a charming antiquated futuristic design and lots of stickers! The gull wing doors scream THIS CAR IS TOTALLY FROM THE FUTURE.
Why it sucks: It's called a "Ground Car," which seems redundant. I bet the Sandmen also have Water Boats and Sky Airplanes.
Detroit Police Patrol Cars - Robocop
Rumour has it that Robocop was supposed to drive his own custom police car in the 1987 film Robocop, but director Paul Verhoeven thought the Robocar looked stupid. As a result, our cyborg hero and the Detroit Police drive black 1985 Ford Taurus in the film. Man, the Robocar must have been pretty shitty if this was a better choice.Who drives it: The police of the future!
Why it is cool: Umm... I'm drawing a blank here.
Why it sucks: It's a Ford Taurus. 'Nuff said.
Grammaton Cleric Pimpmobile - Equilibrium
I'm a big fan of Kurt Wimmer's Equilibrium, flaws and all. It's got sword fights, gun kata, and a brooding ultra-serious Christian Bale (as opposed to campy, flamboyant Christian Bale). Set in the city-state of Libria where emotions are illegal, Equilibrium focuses on the anti-emo cops know as Grammaton Clerics who roll around in white Cadillacs - the car of the future!
Who drives it: Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, Sean Bean.
Why it is cool: It's all white? And therefore looks futuristic?
Why it sucks: Man, it's like they're not even trying, isn't it? Look at those guys (above). They're embarrassed to be seen riding in the thing. Clearly the producers just didn't have the money to create their own custom cars, so they worked with what they had - and what they had were white Caddies, which are one step up from the pink Cadillacs that Mary Kay cosmetic salespeople drive. Sad.
*I didn't include Will Smith's Space Audi from I, Robot because although he is a police detective, he's driving a civilian car, not a marked police car. Same goes for the cool Lexus concept car Tom Cruise drives in Minority Report - not a cop car. Mick Jagger's armored personnel carrier in Freejack doesn't make the list because it's more of a paramilitary vehicle and it is driven by Mick Jagger.
This entry was posted by David Campbell, on
Wednesday, June 3, 2009.
You can leave your response.
June 5, 2009 7:50 AM
Dredd's bike is cool like a Ballerina Hippo from Fantasia.
June 6, 2009 4:05 AM
Huh, you forgot to mention that the Law Master could fly, albeit problematically.
June 6, 2009 9:22 PM
"The Dark One" written on the side of the Interceptor in Mad Max actually referred to a character that was eventually cut out of the script. If you watch the Australian language version, there is a scene where Mel Gibson says "call The Dark One" to Maggie, the line dubbed differently in the US language version because OH GOD KILL ME!
June 9, 2009 1:43 AM
If you really have no life why aren't you able to post more often?
June 9, 2009 7:30 PM
Fat Tyres dept: As you probably already knew, the Lawmaster in the comics is usually drawn with two massive thick tyres that look like they belong on an aircraft or a mosnter truck. They tried doing that for the film, apparently, but they couldn't actually make it turn corners.
July 22, 2009 6:53 AM
hey, I know this is late, but what the heck.
the Sandmen's ground-car is not a redundant term. Technically, our cars are ground-cars as opposed to rail-cars.
And, if the Logan's Run tv show had a bigger budget, you might have seen air- and hover-cars.
And I think that the choice of the Taurus for the cop cars in Robocop was a specific choice, reflecting how little money(and less respect) the Detroit cops got.
That is all.
August 28, 2009 7:02 AM
Dude would have to agree with your choices and yeah, the tires on the Lawmaster needed to be fatter.
November 8, 2009 6:12 PM
"The Dark One" isn't Max Rockatansky's nickname. It's his partner who was cut out of the script. If you have the undubbed version Max actually tells May (her supposed husband) to "call The Dark One..." Just a fun nerdy fact!
December 2, 2009 5:42 AM
As I recall, and it's been afew months since I saw it, the Beastie Boys music in Star Trek was coming from Kirk's car, not the cop's hoverbike.