Labels: airwolf

I have made no secret of my affection for the long running soap opera Days of Our Lives. More specifically, I'm a big fan of actor Drake Hogestyn, who is pretty much the most bad-ass actor ever to appear on daytime television. Hogestyn's John Black character was devoted to Marlena, played by Electra Woman herself Deidre Hall, and the super couple endured many ups and downs over the years.

It must be a) hard and b) fun to work as a writer on a soap opera, continually cooking up plots to keep lovers apart. After a while you run out of earthly challenges and you just have to throw some crazy shit into the mix. The nadir (or apex) of crazy shit on Days of Our Lives was the infamous possession storyline, which played out over the course of weeks. Months, even.

Without getting into boring detail, Marlena became possessed by The Devil. It was HILARIOUS.

Thanks to my pal David Gutierrez for forwarding me this video compilation of the possession storyline. In just a few minutes you can get up to speed on the wonder and magic of one of the most infamous plotlines in soap opera history.

If you don't feel like slogging through the whole thing, skip ahead to the 7:55 mark for a truly HOLY SHIT moment involving projectile vomit, heat vision (for reals), slow flying, and a self-censoring demon who uses PG swear words.

Watch now, thank me later. You'll be glad you did.

I've never been able to divine the reasoning behind this storyline on Days. What were the writers and producers thinking? Surely they were aware of the demographic make up of their audience, so how did they ever think a prolonged demonic possession story would go over well with loyal soap opera viewers? It's baffling.

I still think they should have made Marlena a time traveling cyborg who was sent back in time by lizard aliens to seduce and destroy John Black because his pure awesomeness posed a threat to their plans for global domination. It couldn't have been worse...

Hey, my good friend Mike Sterling over at Progressive Ruin turned 40 today! Man, that is OLD.

If you can't take Mike out for a candlelit dinner for two like me, stop by his blog and wish the old man a happy birthday. I suggest typing a message in ALL CAPS so Mike can read it a little easier. They say that eyesight is the second thing to go when you grow old, right after rectal elasticity.

I first met Mike Sterling at TRUTHCon 1997, where he was manning a booth and answering questions about the link between the Chupacabra, the aliens known as "The Greys," and the Trilateral Commission. Mike would accost anybody who even glanced at his booth and regale them with a twenty minute overview speech that explained the secret cryptid/alien link behind the major events of the 20th century. It was pretty cosmic stuff, but Mike is a huge believer in all that conspiracy stuff and ghosts and UFOs and all that - as a matter of fact, if you email him directly, he's always happy to pontificate on subjects ranging from CIA remote viewing to the Mothman to celebrity psychics like his idol and "life coach," Gary Spivey.

Yes, Mike is a free spirit and a free thinker, and I think the world is a little better place with somebody who just rejects skepticism outright and wants to believe.


Here are ten things you might not know about my friend Mike Sterling:

1. He made a Swamp Thing blow up doll using a sex doll, papier mache, kudzu vine, and a viscous solution of egg whites and soy sauce. It really felt and smelled like the real thing.
2. Mike Sterling ends all phone calls and emails with: "STERLING OUT!"
3. One of his prized possessions is a white afro-helmet given to him by psychic Gary Spivey (pictured above).
4. If you rearrange the letters in Mike Sterling's name, ignore several letters, and then add a few letters, it spells: "I LOVE HITLER."
5. Mike frequently thanks heaven for little girls, but not in a creepy way.
6. One of Mike's legs is 1.3 inches shorter than the other. If you ask him about it he may become incredibly angry and violent, so shhh.
7. Mike really does live his life a quarter mile at a time.
8. In the rear of the Orange County comic shop Mike runs there is a special room that only a chosen few are allowed access to. This is the Liefield Room.
9. Mike has letters tattooed on each knuckle, so when he makes fists with his hands it reads: "YOUR DOOM." Mike is hardcore like that.
10. Mike lives in a black van and is coming to a school zone near you!

Happy birthday, Mike! Please forgive me for spreading horrible, horrible lies about you.