Remember when Sam Raimi used to make horror movies? Apparently so does Sam Raimi.

Drag Me To Hell is a return to Raimi's schlock horror roots, and that can only be a good thing. Yes, it's a PG-13 horror flick and as a result it sometimes feels like Raimi is holding back on the really sick shit (which we'll get on the unrated DVD version), but I didn't feel like I was watching a watered down Evil Dead movie. Drag Me works despite its relative lack of gratuitous gore and an anemic performance by the lead actress. And do you know why? Because it's a balls-out Sam Raimi horror movie! It's creepy and gross and hilarious and most of all it's just a lot of fun.

Need convincing? In this film a toothless corpse gums our screaming heroine's chin while drooling embalming fluid all over her. A stapler is used as a melee weapon. Somebody pukes up an entire kitty. A scarf goes bad. And when a goat shows up in the third act, you just know things are going to go terribly, hilariously wrong.

Go check it out. You can't complain about Spider-Man 3 if you don't show up when Raimi actually makes awesome movies.

I often look at footage of the wildfires that sweep through the western states and think, "If only we had giant fire fighting robots."


I'm not alone, evidently, because designer Jordan Guelde has created plans for a monstrous bright orange arboreal automaton that fights wild fires. The robot is designed to eliminate the fuel that wild fires need to grow - in other words, it chops down trees.

Sure, you and I can chop down trees with a chainsaw or axe, but we require things like oxygen and lack of fire to do so. The Forest Fire Clear Cut Robot laughs at our human weakness. It can chop down trees faster and do it more safely than a human crew - theoretically at least. Right now it's just a bunch of pretty computer graphics.

But when they start building these things? I want one! Give to me.

Labels: give to me

He's a ten foot super giant with ginger hair and a neck as thick as a Sequoia. He's Stardust, one of the proto-superheroes that appear in Supermen!: The First Wave of Comic Book Heroes 1939-1941 by Greg Sadowski, and he is creepy as hell.

Supermen! features an assortment of obscure early superhero comics produced in 1939-41. The comics are glorious, primitive works of pulp science fiction, crude ancestors of the modern superhero. Yet there's something vital and imaginative about these unsophisticated comics which clumsily explore superhero stories and ideas long before they calcified into cliche.

And holy shit, some of those early superheroes were bizarre and terrifying. Stardust is certainly unnerving, but nothing matches the sheer weirdness of Fantomah, the face-melting heroine. Like many "heroes" of her time, Fantomah had seemingly unlimited supernatural powers that she used to protect her jungle domain, but what set her apart was her tendency for her face to transform into a hideous grinning skull.

Bleach blonde skull face woman! She is a nightmare.


Stardust, on the other hand, embodies an entirely different type of weirdness. He's a red haired space giant who lives in a space castle and saves Earth from giant vultures - from space. Stardust's super powers are all over the map, ranging from flight to the ability to transform enemies into worms to a deep, penetrating, inappropriate stare.

He also has a HUGE, baby swallowing neck. If Stardust ever perished in the Sahara, scavengers would fight over Stardust's thick, juicy neck. You could feed a pack of hyenas with that neck meat. He should change his name to Neckro. Or Golden Throat. Or Dr. Bigneck.

Anyway, you can really get an idea of how freakishly huge Stardust's neck is when the hero saves a helpless and unnamed girl from the space vultures:


Nameless Girl, look out! Stardust wants to swallow you!

I honestly can't tell if Stardust is meant to be that frickin' huge, or if the artist just had no concept of proportion and perspective whatsoever. Regardless, the end result is strangely compelling.

After wiping out the space vultures, Stardust returns to the girl (who begins every phrase with the word "oh") and , looming uncomfortably close and staring at her, he invites her back to his space castle. "Oh, Stardust! I'd be crazy about it!"


I'm guessing that Stardust routinely "rescues" women like Oh Girl, takes them back to his star, feeds them fattening foods for a few months, and then eats them. That's just how superheroes rolled back in the late Thirties.

Sure, Barack Obama is the first African American president, but did you know that he is also the first laser powered president? No shit, Obama is powered by a combination of moxie, hope, and 100% pure laser energy.

I am totally not making this up. I have proof: poorly Photoshopped stock photographs of the President! Behold Laser Obama.

Now YOU can transform your apartment or living room into a futuristic starship bridge in three easy steps.

1. Paint everything Bright White latex paint with a satin finish for easy cleaning.
2. Swap out all accessories, furniture, and fixtures with brushed stainless steel replacements.
3. Purchase the following lights:

• 650 Dioder multi-purpose lights (with extra lens flare filters)
• 24 Asker countertop lights
• 12 Gruda bookcase/picture lights
• 24 Kramare spotlights
• 1 Spoka night light (for science officer's station)

Caution: You may have to wear sunglasses at all times.